What exactly do we mean by absolute boredom? Why is it that our relationship seems to move step-child to step-child, then again to another, and so on? Why do we experience so much charade, so much pretense? Why don’t we enjoy our relationships more? Here’s the lowdown on how to keep your relationship alive and your guy interested.
Basically, boredom is a state of mind, the feeling that nothing interesting can ever occur in a relationship. You may spend lots of time together, laughing, flirting, and sometimes making love, but you never seem to achieve anything except a level of mutual compatibility. If you’ve ever experienced this before, you probably view it with ambivalence, ambivalence about the loss of spice in your life. “There are no good men left” or “what a complete bore.”
In actual fact, boredom is probably an underestimate. It’s easy to assume that boredom implies a life of total routine and that your life is a bore, when in fact, great boredom is simply a result of a disjointed life. What I mean is, you have been so busy trying to be what you think he wants, that you tend to lose yourself in the relationship, you have no separate identity. You are no longer fully You, but you become deviating Carlie. You’re afraid to try out new things, you are too scared to leave the comfort of what you already have, and you spend great hours talking about TV and food.
How to avoid boredom is not simple, but I like to start by changing the meaning of “busy.” When you busily attempt to please someone else, you are not actually busy, you are merely giving somebody else enough of your valuable time. Now, when I say “your time,” I don’t mean the time you spend actually doing something you enjoy. I am speaking of time spent on your social networking sites, time chatting at dates, and the time actually living your life. Time spent enjoying music and movies, time trying new recipes, and time going on adventures together. Time wasted doing stuff apart from your relationship can be a reason to kill a relationship. Time spent together is time unavailable to enjoy time together, time that can be invested in each other.
If you aren’t fully enjoying your time together, committing to time together, or actually living at home together, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that the pleasure, excitement, and passion of being together may very well be gone. The pleasure, excitement, and passion that made your first hours together memorable, may very well have vanished. Remember how it seemed like there was nothing you could do wrong back in the day? Well, there’s a reason things get old.
On the other hand, the good news is that the time and energy you spend in a relationship, buying that amazing romance novel that took you five years to finish, is time well-spent. Spending that time and energy reading about those books of love and enjoying a good dinner and a show, watching one another learn the art of French kissing, or wipes the tears away from your baby, is time well-spent, and adds up to a very happy relationship. Older? You’re in luck! You are frequently going to spend hours together, sharing your successes (not necessarily the ones that end up in bed with you, but those shared memories you have together) andOSTENavorableto your marriage. So do all of these things, and your romance will certainly live up to its potential.Leave a comment